Post by Head Righter on Mar 31, 2024 20:36:42 GMT 10
Our gestures knit, each hair in pla-ace-ay-ay-hey-hey-HEY-HEY-HEY! AY-hey!
It is as if the devil stole my... fa-ace-ay-ay-hey-hey-HEY-HEY-HEY!
It is as if the devil stole my... fa-ace-ay-ay-hey-hey-HEY-HEY-HEY!
Vanessa as Camille LeClaire Aunt Diana Rigg as Narrator Chris as Ebenezer Scrooge Sir David Suchet as Narrator Robert as Irrelevant Trumpeter
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome back to Play of the Week, where each week a new play
is performed live in front of a studio audience and broadcast to the na-
-tion.
The BBC has relinquished their control over our Episode order, the rest
Of the Crew cast came crawling back to me and I graciously agreed it best
To take on the mantle of Head Righter for at least one Episode more. Though
The Sex Designer and I mutually agreed it would be best for him to play o'
Nly non-speaking roles this evening.
Tonight's piece is a classic by the great playwright Shakespeare.
To be clear, that's Simon Shakespeare,
The much less well-known and much less well-regarded cousin of Colin Shakespeare.
Whose inspiring script has inspired us all to aspire to new heights of poetry
Although in truth we too are not so great, and we know it, see...
[*clears throat, dramatically*]
Because ourORG Kingdom has been infected by Rhyme,
You are all hereby expected to talk only in kind,
Thus in each Private Missive sent for the next little while,
You must make a small choice, and face that with a smile:
Either write the whole thing in rhyming couplets like these,
Or venture beyond five hundred words, a more generous squeeze -
For from Shakespeare the lesson we've learnt more than most
That for all poetry's import, if of sheer length you can boast
Then nobody shall care what you've written, oh no!
They'll just pretend to read it, as your host happens to know...
(Though you do have the option, a fun one I'm sure,
of obeying both options, for long poems galore!)
Now as for the Format, and mark ye this well:
The nobles of England and France have paid hell
Upon our attempts to return to Survivor
And so their archaic trends must now keep you alive-r.
Subterfuge is most critical in these political courts,
So the Challenge you play is for Safety contort-
-ed by secrecy, subterfuge, perhaps regicidal...
The victor's reward: a Hidden Immunity Idol!
Given anonymously, and to play as they please,
Upon themselves, or another, with equal ease.
When the deadline approaches, you shall not simply Vote,
But submit a full list of your peers, with each a note
Assigning them points on a scale of your choosing
From one point to twenty, and to keep things amusing
You must pen for each Actorjust as many lines of verse,
A poem of rhyming couplets describing each pers-
On. (So if you know how to math, perhaps you can tell
That merely one point - and line - is off-limits as well
As three points, or five, or any number that's odd,
Else your couplets would not all be ruined, a fraud!)
Each player you name and their point or line total,
Must also be unique, so for if for instance I wrote all
Of twenty lines (ten couplets) about the Composter
I'd need just eighteen or fewer, for the rest of the roster.
(Though we highly recommend that you keep things concise;
Subjecting me to less 'poetry' here could also be nice.)
Once the deadline has passed, the points added together,
Whoever received the least points will leave you forever...
Yet first the Idol holder will at last be revealed,
And choose upon whom to play it, their fate not yet sealed.
For the Idol shall add a hundred to the points they got,
Which however you slice it will be such a lot,
That the boon they've received outweighs any poetry they earned not!
So from among the other four shall our victim be caught,
Then brought before the whole Kingdom, all points now computed,
Where in short order they'll be announced, and then executed.
And so become a Critic, shudder, the worst part of being booted,
For inspiring the least poetry, to this Game they are not suited.
Because our
You are all hereby expected to talk only in kind,
Thus in each Private Missive sent for the next little while,
You must make a small choice, and face that with a smile:
Either write the whole thing in rhyming couplets like these,
Or venture beyond five hundred words, a more generous squeeze -
For from Shakespeare the lesson we've learnt more than most
That for all poetry's import, if of sheer length you can boast
Then nobody shall care what you've written, oh no!
They'll just pretend to read it, as your host happens to know...
(Though you do have the option, a fun one I'm sure,
of obeying both options, for long poems galore!)
Now as for the Format, and mark ye this well:
The nobles of England and France have paid hell
Upon our attempts to return to Survivor
And so their archaic trends must now keep you alive-r.
Subterfuge is most critical in these political courts,
So the Challenge you play is for Safety contort-
-ed by secrecy, subterfuge, perhaps regicidal...
The victor's reward: a Hidden Immunity Idol!
Given anonymously, and to play as they please,
Upon themselves, or another, with equal ease.
When the deadline approaches, you shall not simply Vote,
But submit a full list of your peers, with each a note
Assigning them points on a scale of your choosing
From one point to twenty, and to keep things amusing
You must pen for each Actorjust as many lines of verse,
A poem of rhyming couplets describing each pers-
On. (So if you know how to math, perhaps you can tell
That merely one point - and line - is off-limits as well
As three points, or five, or any number that's odd,
Else your couplets would not all be ruined, a fraud!)
Each player you name and their point or line total,
Must also be unique, so for if for instance I wrote all
Of twenty lines (ten couplets) about the Composter
I'd need just eighteen or fewer, for the rest of the roster.
(Though we highly recommend that you keep things concise;
Subjecting me to less 'poetry' here could also be nice.)
Once the deadline has passed, the points added together,
Whoever received the least points will leave you forever...
Yet first the Idol holder will at last be revealed,
And choose upon whom to play it, their fate not yet sealed.
For the Idol shall add a hundred to the points they got,
Which however you slice it will be such a lot,
That the boon they've received outweighs any poetry they earned not!
So from among the other four shall our victim be caught,
Then brought before the whole Kingdom, all points now computed,
Where in short order they'll be announced, and then executed.
And so become a Critic, shudder, the worst part of being booted,
For inspiring the least poetry, to this Game they are not suited.
Your Points Lists and rhyming couplets must be ready to go
by the end of the Episode, at the time stated below:
10:00pm Monday EDT (American time)
Which is 2:00am Tuesday GMT (European time) and 1:00pm Tuesday AEDT (Australian time).
by the end of the Episode, at the time stated below:
10:00pm Monday EDT (American time)
Which is 2:00am Tuesday GMT (European time) and 1:00pm Tuesday AEDT (Australian time).
TL;DR - EPISODE THIRTEEN
Your format is Survivor, but Archaic.
- All PMs must either be written entirely in rhyming verse and/or run longer than 500 words.
- There is a Challenge to complete within the next 24 hours.
- Whoever wins the Challenge will be told anonymously that they now hold a Hidden Immunity Idol, playable upon anyone, in this Episode only.
- Then you must assign each of the other players points on a scale from 1 to 20 (though you cannot use any odd numbers).
- However many points you give somebody, you must write that many rhyming lines about them - or your Points List will be invalid.
- You must give every player a different number of Points (and so a different number of lines/couplets).
- Your Points List must be submitted by 10:00pm Monday EDT = 2am Tuesday GMT = 1pm Tuesday AEDT.
- Once this deadline has passed we will add together all the Points - whoever received the least Points overall will join the Critics.
- However we will also announce who won the Idol and upon whom they played it; their points/line total will be ignored.
- If the player protected by the Idol had the least Points, the player with the next lowest points total will be eliminated instead.
So, the actors are prepared, the stage is set.
Please enjoy The Most Lament-
able Tragedy Of The Prince Of England And His Long-
Lost Twin Brother Prince Regent Of France And The Prob-
lems Therein Experienced By All When They Came
To Know Of One Another After A
Battle.
That'll
Leave me to say:
Good luck, now go your way!
